I'm not really sure how I am feeling right now. I'm just in one of those spots where I am trying to think about WAY too many things at one time, and it's becoming a bit overwhelming. Let's try this one step at a time.
First of all, I am thinking about attempting to graduate a semester early because I've decided that I'm ready to leave Miami as soon as possible. I'm just getting worn out of being here. So, I'm thinking of ditching my idea of double-majoring and just sticking with a major in Psyche and a minor in Family Relationships (since they have gotten rid of the Family Studies minor). From what I can tell, I have 27 hours to go before I graduate, with only 3 hours to go in my Psyche degree and 8 hours in Family Relationships. So, that leaves me with 16 hours to blow!! haha Dang. Well, if I can hack 11 hours this summer (whew!) I could finish both my major and my minor this summer and then just take whatever I well-pleased in the fall for my final senior semester. Hmmmm....sounds fun I guess. I guess now might be a good time for me to talk to an advisor, eh? I don't know...I've made it this far without one. hehe Anyway, I'm thinking that if I can graduate early, I can spend the rest of December, January, and February working at home at Arby's (since everything at home is free and Arby's pays a crapload more than anywhere in Oxford), and then hit the road in March down to GA and begin my adventures on the Appalachian Trail! High hopes and dreams.....we'll see where it all goes.
Another big thing on my mind: taking drugs. Yes, taking drugs. Kathy (my new friend in Cincinnati) thinks that I should start taking an anti-depressant because, well, she thinks I'm depressed. And frankly, I just really don't know how to feel about that. She's not proposing that it will fix my problems, so it's not a "solution," just a side thing to help cope I guess. I don't really know. But I still haven't figured out how I feel about using drugs to fix emotional problems. Studies are now showing that it is more of physical problem....a chemical imbalance in the brain of serotonin levels. I guess I can buy that.....but then I have to ask, "Why is there a chemical imbalance?" And then I think to myself, "Maybe other problems (like issues in my life) cause a chemical imbalance, and therefore, if I fix those issues, my body will naturally fix the chemical imbalance." For some reason, I just feel like taking a medication is showing a lack of faith that God can fix me. But I guess He can fix me through medication....He created everything..... *sigh* I don't know what to do. And not to mention, anti-depressants have side effects.
Another thing: Kathy thinks I have an issue with suppressing anger....holding in too much. But I don't know...I just don't really feel like I am a very angry person. And, I feel like the Bible preaches against getting angry unless there is a just reason for it (i.e. people defiling God's temple). "Slow to anger" I think it says in James somewhere. But, I also don't really know what Kathy was suggesting as to alternatives to suppressing anger.....so, I guess I need to read this book she recommended first and then decide how I feel. The book looks like it is written by a secular author, so I have to be sure I am alert and discerning. "The Dance of Anger" it's called. It was in the "self-help/psychology" section of Borders. haha The section where people go when then aren't "all there upstairs." Just kidding .....well...... maybe......or maybe I'm CRAAAAAZY. Hmmmm
Many other little things on my mind, but I'll leave those alone for now. I think the biggest theme running through my life right now is "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth" (1 John 3:18). I've begun to realize that it's really easy to talk the talk. Anyone can get up and speak about God, tell how great He is, what He does, teach about a Jesus story, say they love someone..... but, it means nothing without actions.
God desires the talk AND THE WALK....especially the walk. So....
I can talk the talk, but can I walk the walk?
First of all, I am thinking about attempting to graduate a semester early because I've decided that I'm ready to leave Miami as soon as possible. I'm just getting worn out of being here. So, I'm thinking of ditching my idea of double-majoring and just sticking with a major in Psyche and a minor in Family Relationships (since they have gotten rid of the Family Studies minor). From what I can tell, I have 27 hours to go before I graduate, with only 3 hours to go in my Psyche degree and 8 hours in Family Relationships. So, that leaves me with 16 hours to blow!! haha Dang. Well, if I can hack 11 hours this summer (whew!) I could finish both my major and my minor this summer and then just take whatever I well-pleased in the fall for my final senior semester. Hmmmm....sounds fun I guess. I guess now might be a good time for me to talk to an advisor, eh? I don't know...I've made it this far without one. hehe Anyway, I'm thinking that if I can graduate early, I can spend the rest of December, January, and February working at home at Arby's (since everything at home is free and Arby's pays a crapload more than anywhere in Oxford), and then hit the road in March down to GA and begin my adventures on the Appalachian Trail! High hopes and dreams.....we'll see where it all goes.
Another big thing on my mind: taking drugs. Yes, taking drugs. Kathy (my new friend in Cincinnati) thinks that I should start taking an anti-depressant because, well, she thinks I'm depressed. And frankly, I just really don't know how to feel about that. She's not proposing that it will fix my problems, so it's not a "solution," just a side thing to help cope I guess. I don't really know. But I still haven't figured out how I feel about using drugs to fix emotional problems. Studies are now showing that it is more of physical problem....a chemical imbalance in the brain of serotonin levels. I guess I can buy that.....but then I have to ask, "Why is there a chemical imbalance?" And then I think to myself, "Maybe other problems (like issues in my life) cause a chemical imbalance, and therefore, if I fix those issues, my body will naturally fix the chemical imbalance." For some reason, I just feel like taking a medication is showing a lack of faith that God can fix me. But I guess He can fix me through medication....He created everything..... *sigh* I don't know what to do. And not to mention, anti-depressants have side effects.
Another thing: Kathy thinks I have an issue with suppressing anger....holding in too much. But I don't know...I just don't really feel like I am a very angry person. And, I feel like the Bible preaches against getting angry unless there is a just reason for it (i.e. people defiling God's temple). "Slow to anger" I think it says in James somewhere. But, I also don't really know what Kathy was suggesting as to alternatives to suppressing anger.....so, I guess I need to read this book she recommended first and then decide how I feel. The book looks like it is written by a secular author, so I have to be sure I am alert and discerning. "The Dance of Anger" it's called. It was in the "self-help/psychology" section of Borders. haha The section where people go when then aren't "all there upstairs." Just kidding .....well...... maybe......or maybe I'm CRAAAAAZY. Hmmmm
Many other little things on my mind, but I'll leave those alone for now. I think the biggest theme running through my life right now is "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth" (1 John 3:18). I've begun to realize that it's really easy to talk the talk. Anyone can get up and speak about God, tell how great He is, what He does, teach about a Jesus story, say they love someone..... but, it means nothing without actions.
God desires the talk AND THE WALK....especially the walk. So....
I can talk the talk, but can I walk the walk?
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