Living Sacrifice

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

arrrr. Today is one of those days when I come home at the end, and I just can't help but think of all the stupid things I did today...all the things I said and did wrong. And I know I shouldn't think that way, but it's hard sometimes. It doesn't help when you wake up in the morning and your clothes are really tight.....that's happening a lot lately, to the point of having to pick out certain outfits that are looser. It's frustrating. It hurts. It makes me think about all the things that are wrong with me physically, and how I don't feel like I fit in anywhere.

And I had this conversation today, where, basically to come down to it, I was called a judgmental Christian. And it hit me then........I am a judgmental person. The worst of them, in fact. And someone finally called me out on it. Which, in the end, is a good thing so I can learn to change, but it's a hard pill to swallow, especially when I think about how this person's perception of me could be a reflection on how they view Christianity and God. It makes me mad, in fact, that I am often viewed as a representation of God....because I screw up so many things. I don't know. But I apologized to the person. I'm just glad they were as forgiving as they were, and I thought to myself "this person is closer to being what a Christian should be than I am."

Good things happened today though, too. Spen came in to visit me at Kofenya. :) And so did Eric and Christi.....they gave me an early Christmas present: the new Nickel Creek CD, which I am listening to right now. :) I know what will be in my CD player on my 3-hour drive tomorrow night to Waldo.

I also had some good conversations about relationships and just life in general with one of my co-workers (Sarah) tonight at Kofenya. It was really good......I won't give any details for the sake of confidentiality, but I felt refreshed after spending the evening working with her. It helps that we have a lot in common. I like her a lot.

So, that's about it I think. Looking forward to going home for Thanksgiving. Haven't been there since.....wow.....I can't even remember. Before my birthday I think, which was quite a while ago. Wow. I don't think I've been home for almost 3 months. That's the longest I've ever been away from home before. Weird. Well, it's about time I made it back to Waldo, then. So get ready, Waldo. I will soon be on my way.

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