Sex is in my face everyday. Literally. If not in class, then in advertisements, movies, tv shows, student conversations. Everywhere I turn, SEX. I went into Skippers today and watched a guy practically glued to a tv as "babes" in bathing suits danced all over the screen. You know, at lot of times I get mad about stuff like this, but today, God gave me a different perspective. I was sad. I was sad that those girls dancing around on the screen felt that was all they were worth. I was sad that men are taught to see women as "eye candy" objects and nothing more. I was sad that society lets this go on. I was sad by the general spirit and mentality of people as pertaining to bodies and sex. The girls like that thrive off of sexual attention, attention to their bodies, and therefore do not grow to love themselves for who they are. They believe their self-worth comes from their outward physical "beauty." Granted, I am tainted in this area, because I am no longer the skinny, "beautiful" girl that I once was. I would have fit right in at one time to the flaunting of my body in a bikini because I had that kind of body. And I don't anymore. So, you could say my argument comes from envy or jealousy of girls who are much more beautiful than me. But I don't know about that. I feel that even if I was thin, I couldn't expose my body the way many girls do. I feel like that would be losing respect for myself and the body God gave me, as well as causing temptation for men to fall.

I am satisfied with my feelings today. I hope that God is taking me to a new place of compassion instead of anger against the world for the way they view women's bodies. Much of this superficiality and attention to the external comes from within the church as well, which is sad, but I have to trust that God can work in and through His people, and continue to work in my heart, to overcome the temptation to judge someone specifically by their physical attractiveness. And, in turn, maybe I can stop judging my own self that way, too, so God has room to start healing me. I can only hope......