I think today I was simply reminded how important it is that God gave us brothers and sisters in Christ, because otherwise, I think most of us would slowly lose sight of Him. I have felt over the past however long that I have been slowly drifting away from God, until I have finally gotten to the point of even questioning His existence, which has been a scary place for me, and a place I don't intend to stay and hope to never be at again. But anyway, I think my saving grace a lot of times are my friends, especially my brothers and sisters of the faith. Today, even a brief conversation with my little brother helped remind me of the importance of my life in the fact that I am here to share a love with others that is beyond myself and my circumstances. I was continually reminded today of the love of Christ through various interactions with others, such as Cathy and Andrea fixing dinner for me and Spen, Jason trying to look out for me and help me find a job, and David asking me how I am doing. I see Christ's love in all of these simple acts, and it encourages me to go on.

I was especially encouraged today when I met with a couple friends uptown. I was reminded that satan is real and is continually working to destroy my life and my love and my relationship with Christ, and I feel as if at this time, he is relatively sucessful. But I am reminded by the constant love from my friends that I am more than I allow myself to be, and more than how I perceive myself, because I am bound by lies and blinded by darkness a lot of the time. Today, we all seemed to share a very intimate moment, at least it seemed that way to me, about a subject that goes deep into the hearts of many people: self-hatred.

I may be at a bad place right now, but I am convinced that I will not stay here. Speaking with other Christians gives me strength and reminds me that I need to fight, that I have a mighty God who loves me NO MATTER WHAT and who is willing to help me push through anything. I am broken and hurting, but I am not defeated, and interactions like today give me glimmers of hope that I have the power through Christ to rip the veil from my eyes to see myself and others through God's light.