Yesterday was a bad day. All around....feelings, emotions, struggles, spiritually, physically.....a bad day. I was reminded by a faithful follower, however, to take all thoughts captive because not all come from God. And I was reminded that there are people praying for me faithfully, which is comforting, especially when I can't seem to bring myself to do it on my own.

Today has been a bit better, I suppose, but I just feel really depressed and full of doubt and hopelessness. I feel like giving up on everything....school, God, life. I'm to one of those points where I don't feel like trying anymore. An old song that we used to sing in my church back home just popped into my head.

"Precious Lord,
Take my hand,
Lead me on,
Help me stand,
I am tired,
I am weak,
I am worn.

Through the storm,
Through the night,
Lead me on,
To the light,
Take my hand,
Precious Lord,
Lead me home."

That's a good one for me right now. Maybe I'll use the lyrics and create some new music for it, or just figure out the old chords and play. God, I'm despirate.

On a lighter note, I got to ride with my windows and sun roof open today....it's amazing how warm 35 feels after you've gone through the winter season. It was beautiful. And earlier today, while I was walking, I was thinking/praying about my eating and struggles, when I saw 4 deer straight across from me in someone's yard in the middle of a housing development neighborhood. It was pretty awesome.....I got really close to them, and then they ran away, one of them coming about 8 feet from me.

"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God." -Psalm 42:1

The deer were probably looking for sources of water as they traveled around the neighborhood, and so it is with me.....I seek after Christ's living water, I long for it...to be satisfied by the same living water Jesus promises the woman at the well.

How long, God?