Had a troubling night tonight, so I took my bad self, grabbed my latest music movement (which is a "trance" CD graciously lended to me by Joe), and headed into the excitement of M-town. Because everything is CLOSED after 10pm in Marion, even on a Saturday night, I had to settle for Tim Horton's drive thru. I don't drink alk-ee-hall, so the next best thing for me without breaking my "no coffee, no pop" streak was a hot chocolate. So, my face tear-stained and tired, I took my hot chocolate to the Harding Memorial to sit outside, sipping, crying, thinking, and writing in my journal. It actually ended up being a nice spot, and a nice night to be out. So, overall, even though I was upset, I had a nice outting and some good time to contemplate. And I also had a chance to talk with my little bro when I came home.....it's nice to have someone with which I can just kind of "think out loud." Someone to stimulate my brain a little bit, make me eager to learn more and dig into my faith. Looking forward to having him in O-town with me....which starts tomorrow!
So, life is still hard for me right now. Still trying to get out of my self-focused frame of mind and come to terms with some issues I need to face. But I have a wonderful support system in place....my community of faith, and my family and friends, and I am beginning to have hope for my life and what God has planned for me.




"Kept the right ones out
And let the wrong ones in
Had an angel of mercy
To see me through all my sins
There were times in my life
When I was goin' insane
Tryin' to walk through the pain

And when I lost my grip
And I hit the floor
Yeah, I tought I could leave
But couldn't get out the door
I was so sick n' tired
Of livin' a lie
I was wishing that I would die

It's amazing
With the blink of an eye
You finally see the light
It's amazing
That when the moment arrives
You know you'll be alright
It's amazing
And I'm saying a prayer
To the desperate hearts tonight."

-Aerosmith