OK, I was trying to study again, and all of a sudden, this thought popped in my head. I don't know if it is significant, but I think that it is, or will be sometime. It's a memory, and I really think that people must be praying for me. I just know. But anyway, I'm always dwelling on how happy I used to be...you know "the person I once was" as the song lyrics in my previous post say. I always think that I had it all together, that things were great, especially my first year of high school. Well, I just had a memory.....It was my freshman year in high school, and I was on the phone with my boyfriend at the time, and I was just crying and crying, harder than I had probably ever cried before. And I cried on the phone for like an hour, and more after I hung up I think. My boyfriend just sat there and listened, and tried to comfort me. It was comforting that he was willing to listen and support me in my time of total breakdown. But in all reality, besides giving me a feeling of belonging and love, there wasn't anything he could do to stop me from crying. And I remember telling him that I wasn't really sure what was wrong with me. And I just kept crying....and I mean crying. I remember my mom heard me, too, and I think I remember her holding me and trying to comfort me.

I have no idea why this popped in my head. I mean, I was sitting here thinking about how I wish there was someone here to hold me as I just let everything out and cry until I can't cry anymore....I guess that's why. But I had forgotten about that moment my freshman year until just now. Proof that I didn't have it all together then, either. Comforting and disturbing at the same time.