It has occurred to me that there are probably 3 reasons that women have sex before they are married: 1. pleasure 2. personal insecurities (feeling loved, accepted, etc.) 3. feeling like they have to in order to be loved. I never really thought much about the 3rd one until I counseled a girl recently who has been pregnant several times out of wedlock and isn't really interested in marriage. We talked about her life and why she was having sex......and, in different words, she basically told me that if she didn't, then whoever she was with at the time would leave her. It was like she was being told "in order to be loved, you must do this...because that's what makes you loveable." I know all guys aren't like this....I know plenty who aren't like this.....but in her world, that's all that she knows. She knows guys with expectations, and she feels that there is pretty much no other way around it because I don't know if she'd ever met a guy who wasn't like that.
I guess I kind of had several different reactions and thoughts. One, I am very fortunate to know many many guys who don't hold those expectations for women. Two, I wanted her to see that with patience and trust in God, she could find a guy who would love and respect her without sexual expectations. Three, she was about my age, and so it was really cool to be able to talk to her about this....because I felt like we could relate to each other. Four, guys who act like that just stink and really need to see the true beauty in loving a woman instead of "loving" them because they can get something from them.
Every woman deserves to be loved and respected, and I just think that so many don't see it.....they don't respect themselves enough, they settle for less than what they deserve, they don't see how much they deserve to be valued by men...and how much they are already valued by God! It's really a great injustice and a way that Satan is working hard in the hearts and minds of young women...and really, all ages of women. But I know it doesn't have to be that way......because He is greater than the one who is in the world.......and I know He is working.
I guess I kind of had several different reactions and thoughts. One, I am very fortunate to know many many guys who don't hold those expectations for women. Two, I wanted her to see that with patience and trust in God, she could find a guy who would love and respect her without sexual expectations. Three, she was about my age, and so it was really cool to be able to talk to her about this....because I felt like we could relate to each other. Four, guys who act like that just stink and really need to see the true beauty in loving a woman instead of "loving" them because they can get something from them.
Every woman deserves to be loved and respected, and I just think that so many don't see it.....they don't respect themselves enough, they settle for less than what they deserve, they don't see how much they deserve to be valued by men...and how much they are already valued by God! It's really a great injustice and a way that Satan is working hard in the hearts and minds of young women...and really, all ages of women. But I know it doesn't have to be that way......because He is greater than the one who is in the world.......and I know He is working.
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