so, today was not a good day. Not at all. I didn't realize how much was inside of me.....I go thru periods of ignoring it......until I watched the "Hurt" video with Johnny Cash. I started crying. And crying. And I cried for a long time. And work was ok until the espresso and steaming machine stopped working. Yeah, a coffee shop without espresso and steamed drinks is not much of a coffee shop. It wasn't much fun. After work, I stayed and scrubbed one of the couches ("physical" emotional therapy), sat around and cried some more, and listened to Over the Rhine thinking, "Sing it, Karin." I don't know. It was just one of those days where I wish it was time for life to end. I just didn't want to be here.

But there are small things that keep me going. I came in to work today and Megan was working. It just helped to see her, give her a hug. I told her I was really glad she was there. And then later, a girl who comes in all the time to get drinks was about to leave and she looked at me and said "Kim, can I have a hug?" I of course was excited to do so, and when I came around the counter to hug her, I hugged her and said "is everything ok?" and she said "no" and just started crying. She went on to tell me some things that were going on in her life right now. And last night, a girl who comes in often asked us to pray for her. These are the small moments that I love about Kofenya.....when I see people that I only know thru the coffee shop opening up and experiencing love. I know the people who come into Kofenya feel it. There's something different there. And I'm so glad that despite where I'm at in my life, God still uses me somehow. Somehow, in all my crap and brokenness. Especially today of all days for my friend to come up and start crying.....it was just like "wow, God, I'm not the only one." And I felt I could relate to her. She was broken, too. And so willing to be vulnerable. So there was at least a moment in my day when things seemed to make sense and I felt I was in the right place.