I realized tonight how much I have neglected my friends and how theraputic it can be to fellowship with other believers. I am only feeding my depression and my saddness when I keep to myself so much. A friend of mine pointed out tonight how I used to love to help people.....that's what gave me joy. He said he didn't know what happened to me, but that when I am happy, people love to be around me. I'm tired of living in the dark and tired of letting my friends down. What has happened to me? I don't know.....I've allowed this deterioration of spirit and have believed a lie that I like being by myself when really, that only makes things worse. But I do know that it is up to me to make a change....to live for others rather than myself. That is where I find real joy anyway. God, thank you for friends who are willing to talk and listen....people who can laugh or cry with me and tell me the things I really need to hear.