"This is your life. Are you who you wanna be?" -Switchfoot
I guess this is kind of what's on my mind tonight. I think I've blogged about this before...almost sure of it, but it's on my mind and I'm going to write about it again. I remember something Glenn talked about a long time ago that really stuck in my head....about our lives being "out there"....like we are always striving for something that is never really quite our lives right now. For example, living my life thinking "well....I'll graduate from college, THEN my life will start," kind of leaving my present life as a small slice of something greater...."out there." But really, that "out there" never comes. There will always be something greater for which we strive to achieve. A bigger house, a new car, a promotion, higher education, etc. There's always that stuff. But if we are always living in the "out there," then we are missing out on life entirely....the life "right now." If my life is "out there," then I live my life planning for that moment of change and miss the opportunities of current that are right in front of my face. To live my life "out there" is to be greatly disappointed in the end, that the "out there" was not really what I expected it to be anyway...that it's not as fulfilling or meaningful as I had anticipated it to be. Our lives are not only "out there" but "right here and right now." This is my life. This is your life. And as far as we know, there may not be an "out there." Life is precious and short, and we don't really control when it ends or begins. God meant us to live day to day. Not that planning and goal-setting is bad, but it can't rule the way we live our lives day to day. Otherwise, we're not really living, but instead, slowly dying.
Spawning out of these thoughts, I have some things I need to remind myself of, so I'm typing them out: I am NOT my job, I am NOT where I live or the things that I own, I am NOT how much money I make, I am NOT my looks (a biggie for me), I am NOT how smart I am, I am NOT all the things I accomplish in my life. I am me, the way God made me, to serve. I am His love that dwells in me, I am His child, I am His forever, I live to die for Him. I am a sister in Christ to all my family of believers. I am a light to dark places because of Christ.
Ohh.....my spirit groans to know these things deep in my heart. I need to know these things. To KNOW them. To not let the pressures of the world tell me differently.
But then another part of me says "Maybe you are just scared of trying. Maybe you are afraid of failure, and so you want a way out. You are afraid to learn, afraid to achieve, afraid to work hard at something."
I don't know. I just don't know. Is this me giving up because of fear? Or is it me giving in to His plan for me because of lack of fear in His provision for me? Maybe both?
I guess this is kind of what's on my mind tonight. I think I've blogged about this before...almost sure of it, but it's on my mind and I'm going to write about it again. I remember something Glenn talked about a long time ago that really stuck in my head....about our lives being "out there"....like we are always striving for something that is never really quite our lives right now. For example, living my life thinking "well....I'll graduate from college, THEN my life will start," kind of leaving my present life as a small slice of something greater...."out there." But really, that "out there" never comes. There will always be something greater for which we strive to achieve. A bigger house, a new car, a promotion, higher education, etc. There's always that stuff. But if we are always living in the "out there," then we are missing out on life entirely....the life "right now." If my life is "out there," then I live my life planning for that moment of change and miss the opportunities of current that are right in front of my face. To live my life "out there" is to be greatly disappointed in the end, that the "out there" was not really what I expected it to be anyway...that it's not as fulfilling or meaningful as I had anticipated it to be. Our lives are not only "out there" but "right here and right now." This is my life. This is your life. And as far as we know, there may not be an "out there." Life is precious and short, and we don't really control when it ends or begins. God meant us to live day to day. Not that planning and goal-setting is bad, but it can't rule the way we live our lives day to day. Otherwise, we're not really living, but instead, slowly dying.
Spawning out of these thoughts, I have some things I need to remind myself of, so I'm typing them out: I am NOT my job, I am NOT where I live or the things that I own, I am NOT how much money I make, I am NOT my looks (a biggie for me), I am NOT how smart I am, I am NOT all the things I accomplish in my life. I am me, the way God made me, to serve. I am His love that dwells in me, I am His child, I am His forever, I live to die for Him. I am a sister in Christ to all my family of believers. I am a light to dark places because of Christ.
Ohh.....my spirit groans to know these things deep in my heart. I need to know these things. To KNOW them. To not let the pressures of the world tell me differently.
But then another part of me says "Maybe you are just scared of trying. Maybe you are afraid of failure, and so you want a way out. You are afraid to learn, afraid to achieve, afraid to work hard at something."
I don't know. I just don't know. Is this me giving up because of fear? Or is it me giving in to His plan for me because of lack of fear in His provision for me? Maybe both?
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