I can't get my song to work....sorry about the previous post. If I ever figure out how, I'll post it some other time, but all the internet uploading places have a limit of 10mb per upload, and my song is about 10.5mb. Stink. If you really want to hear it, just IM me or something and I'll send it to you. But it's really not worth all the hassel.
I went to Shaina's baby shower on Saturday with Vir and Christi. The last time I went to one of those, it was for my mom and I was 7. So, it was quite an experience for me. I don't think anything could be more girly than a baby shower. All these ladies sit around, some married, some not, some with their own babies, some not, and eat nice little snackies and talk. Later, the pregnant woman (in this case, Shaina) opens all kinds of gifts while everyone sits around and watches. It was fun, and I can see why guys don't come. You know, they just really don't want to know about breast milk bags and wipes, spit up cloths, butt balms, etc. haha Sure opened my eyes a bit.
Anyway, going to the shower really heightened some thinking patterns I've had lately. I have been feeling that maybe God is calling me to be more feminine, to be a woman like He made me to be. Since I can remember, I've been into sports and being strong and keeping up with the guys. I never wanted to be girly. Past a certain age, I hated dressing up. All the volleyball girls would want to dress up on game days, and my best friend and I would protest. We wanted to wear jeans, not dresses!
But now I am starting to ask myself: why do you insist on being so strong and unfeminine? Are you trying to prove something? Is it pride? Is it insecurity? Why do you wear pajama pants and hats and sweatshirts all the time? I say that it's just "me," but now I'm beginning to wonder.....is it? I don't think I've known a life where I feel like I don't have to prove myself......I have to prove that I am strong, smart, and different....unconforming.
I don't really know where I am going with this, but it's been on my mind, especially with things like baby showers going on. Girly things. God made me a woman. Why do I not have confidence in that? I hope to explore this more with God. It seems that when I think about it enough, there's a lot of pain and hurt there.
I went to Shaina's baby shower on Saturday with Vir and Christi. The last time I went to one of those, it was for my mom and I was 7. So, it was quite an experience for me. I don't think anything could be more girly than a baby shower. All these ladies sit around, some married, some not, some with their own babies, some not, and eat nice little snackies and talk. Later, the pregnant woman (in this case, Shaina) opens all kinds of gifts while everyone sits around and watches. It was fun, and I can see why guys don't come. You know, they just really don't want to know about breast milk bags and wipes, spit up cloths, butt balms, etc. haha Sure opened my eyes a bit.
Anyway, going to the shower really heightened some thinking patterns I've had lately. I have been feeling that maybe God is calling me to be more feminine, to be a woman like He made me to be. Since I can remember, I've been into sports and being strong and keeping up with the guys. I never wanted to be girly. Past a certain age, I hated dressing up. All the volleyball girls would want to dress up on game days, and my best friend and I would protest. We wanted to wear jeans, not dresses!
But now I am starting to ask myself: why do you insist on being so strong and unfeminine? Are you trying to prove something? Is it pride? Is it insecurity? Why do you wear pajama pants and hats and sweatshirts all the time? I say that it's just "me," but now I'm beginning to wonder.....is it? I don't think I've known a life where I feel like I don't have to prove myself......I have to prove that I am strong, smart, and different....unconforming.
I don't really know where I am going with this, but it's been on my mind, especially with things like baby showers going on. Girly things. God made me a woman. Why do I not have confidence in that? I hope to explore this more with God. It seems that when I think about it enough, there's a lot of pain and hurt there.
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