Here's a section of an IM conversation I had with my friend Justin tonight....I figured I'd post it rather than typing out how my day went, since I explained it in our convo:

birch2201: hmmmm
birch2201: well, I have seemingly been really emotional lately....and just feeling horrible about myself I guess, and certain circumstances in my life. Just feeling lost I guess. Things I've talked to you about before. And it all comes out at various times because I think I hold it in a lot
birch2201: and so, my boss could tell something was wrong
birch2201: when I came into work
birch2201: and he hugged me
birch2201: and I just started crying
birch2201: so, that was the beginning of my work day
birch2201: then a projector died
birch2201: we are getting a new one for theater 2 on Monday
birch2201: then.....one of the platters wasn't working right, or so I thought, causing Rent to stop several times during the movie....during a busy set....making everything crazy
birch2201: I realized later that the reason Rent was stopping was because I had the platter on rewind instead of pay out
birch2201: so, basically I cost the company 22 free tickets
birch2201: but....when I switched it back to pay out.....the film stopped again....
birch2201: so maybe it wasn't all me...
birch2201: I don't know
birch2201: but it was still a stupid mistake
birch2201: and because I was already feeling bad about myself, that made me feel even worse
birch2201: I called Doug to tell him what happened
birch2201: and naturally, I cried again
birch2201: lol
birch2201: just one of those days I guess
jrBaDBoY1: oh man
jrBaDBoY1: thats sad
jrBaDBoY1: i'm sorry
birch2201: and besides all that, we were incredibly busy
birch2201: because of Narnia
jrBaDBoY1: yea i bet
birch2201: so I mostly just had to suck it up
birch2201: and deal with it
birch2201: but I survived


Later, though, Megan came in to visit me, and she helped me clean some theaters, and we got to have some good one-on-one converations, and I got to confess some things to her, and just spend time and talk with her. It was really good. After talking with her some, we both realized that we are struggling with some similar things, and it was SO nice to finally have someone that I felt I could relate to in certain areas of my life. I won't go into detail for the fact of sparing Megan's confidentiality, but it was much needed conversation, and I'm so glad Megan decided to stop by. I can't help but think that God knew we needed each other at that moment to relate to one another. It was good. Really good.

And some more good things: Christi's senior recital last night was AMAZING! She has improved so much over the last 4 years. And she even wrote a note about me in the back of her program. :) It was great. I'm so glad we got put together in the same room freshman year. I can't imagine my life without her!

And I went out to eat and then to Kofenya and then sledding with Justin last night. Wow, I cannot express how much fun sledding is at 1 in the morning, but it is.....hmmmm......really really awesome. I even ramped some of the snow-ramps that had been built....with a new sled that is totally sweet (if you want to try it out, call me and ask me to go sledding with you!) sledding just brought back so many great memories of spending hours in the snow with Spen and JB, building forts and making ramps. I remember how we used to take spray bottles of water outside to spray onto the ramps to pack the snow better and make the ramp more solid. Or sometimes, when it was super cold, dragging the hose to the sloping field next to our yard and making ice trails to sled on between the stubbled corn stalks. Good times. I think Little Lace even got in on some of those with us. :)

So, it was cool to sled and feel like I kid again. And remember the times as a kid. It's kind of freeing....and a release from the depressive holes I find myself in sometimes.

Friends are good for shining light into dark holes. I'm thankful for the ones I have.