I still haven’t decided where I will be living next year….or whether I will graduate early…..two pretty big decisions that need to be made within the next couple weeks. The more I think about it, the more I really want to graduate early because I don’t know how much longer I can sit in a classroom and study stuff in which I’m really not very interested. It’s too hard to sit still anymore….and school just isn’t what I want to spend my life doing. I kind of feel like a bird in a bird cage. I feel confined and restricted, and I almost feel like studying is just a waste of time. What am I doing it for anyway? I’d rather be getting excited about reading God’s Word and doing things to further His Kingdom instead focusing on me and my future “success.” I used to want to be someone big….you know, be famous in some way or another…make myself into something…. ”be” someone great. And though I still desire that sometimes, I usually only have that desire in my spiritually weak moments as I seek for something to fulfill me. I don’t think fame and fortune is what I really want from my life. In fact, I believe God is most pleased when we become nothing….because then HE makes us something, but only in Him and when we give Him the glory. Paul was an awesome dude, but he always gave the glory to God…never boasted in anyone but Christ….and God did incredible things through him because he was willing to give up his entire life for the sake of the gospel. I want to be like that. As the band Jonah33 says, “I want a faith like that.”

I will continue to strive toward that goal. Where school fits in….I don’t really know. School gets me a job somewhere…but it’s not really the job that’s important, anyway. The world would tell me otherwise, but I’m not to be of this world anyway, so why should I listen? As long as I am following His will, I should trust that I will be “successful” in the way that Jesus defines success, whatever that looks like for my life. If God wants me here in Oxford another 2 semesters, then things won’t work out for me to graduate early. Though I desire to leave in December, I pray for His will to be done and not my own.