Living Sacrifice

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I'll start with yesterday:

I got to see Over the Rhine play for 45 minutes at a bookstore in Cinci. It was AMAZING. I could listen to Karin sing all day long. And I love to watch how Linford just stares intently at Karin just about the whole time she is playing and singing. It's so beautiful. You can just tell he absolutely adores her. They have such a cool relationship.

Today....not really such a great day. ended up really cool. Anthony came into the theater tonight and told me that he is going to take a personal day in February so he can come listen to me play music at Kofenya. Wow. It meant so much to me. He's such a sweet guy with such passions for life and people and God.

Well, I wanted to write more and then post a funny picture for Murle, but I am way too tired. maybe tomorrow.....

Sunday, November 27, 2005

OK.....I am learning that the process of getting to know someone is difficult. When we are first confronted with a new face, we naturally put on a facade of some's so hard to be real. I met this guy a few days ago, and he came into the theater tonight, and then we just decided to hang out for a bit. It was fun. But I am being reminded of how difficult it is to show someone who I really am, to start from scratch. So, it kind of ends up coming out like this: "Hey, I'm Kim from Waldo, Ohio. I grew up on a farm with very few farm animals, I have a liscence plate that says 'Liv 2 Die,' I have 2 1/2 jobs that don't pay much, and I have a college degree that I'm not using. Oh, and I am leaving on a six-month hiatus in 3 months to go hiking in the wilderness." *laugh* I am realizing how I come across to people.....they must think I'm either stupid or crazy. It's kind of fun, but at the same time, I am just struggling with being where I'm at. I've had more than one person ask something along the lines of "so, you're not a student anymore. What do you do?" I don't know what to say to that. I mean, you graduate and get a job(s). What else should I say? I'm working 40+ hours a week. I do Big Brothers Big Sisters. I volunteer at a women's center in Hamilton. I play music. I watch movies until 5 in the morning at the theater after hours. I hang out with friends. I sit and drink coffee. What else should I be doing? I always just feel like there is pressure from society to be doing more, and it makes me feel more and more like a nobody.

But, I don't want to end this blog on a downer. I'm really not down too much. I think right now more than anything, it's all kind of funny. I had all these false expectations about graduating from college and my life falling into place. But instead, my life couldn't be more random and obscure. I actually like it....I think. But that doesn't make it any less difficult to talk to people about myself. Oh well. What you see is what you get. I'm a poor college grad with a sense of adventure with no clue how to play this game we call life. Well...maybe a small clue. :) Or at least I'm getting there. Slowly.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

arrrr. Today is one of those days when I come home at the end, and I just can't help but think of all the stupid things I did today...all the things I said and did wrong. And I know I shouldn't think that way, but it's hard sometimes. It doesn't help when you wake up in the morning and your clothes are really tight.....that's happening a lot lately, to the point of having to pick out certain outfits that are looser. It's frustrating. It hurts. It makes me think about all the things that are wrong with me physically, and how I don't feel like I fit in anywhere.

And I had this conversation today, where, basically to come down to it, I was called a judgmental Christian. And it hit me then........I am a judgmental person. The worst of them, in fact. And someone finally called me out on it. Which, in the end, is a good thing so I can learn to change, but it's a hard pill to swallow, especially when I think about how this person's perception of me could be a reflection on how they view Christianity and God. It makes me mad, in fact, that I am often viewed as a representation of God....because I screw up so many things. I don't know. But I apologized to the person. I'm just glad they were as forgiving as they were, and I thought to myself "this person is closer to being what a Christian should be than I am."

Good things happened today though, too. Spen came in to visit me at Kofenya. :) And so did Eric and Christi.....they gave me an early Christmas present: the new Nickel Creek CD, which I am listening to right now. :) I know what will be in my CD player on my 3-hour drive tomorrow night to Waldo.

I also had some good conversations about relationships and just life in general with one of my co-workers (Sarah) tonight at Kofenya. It was really good......I won't give any details for the sake of confidentiality, but I felt refreshed after spending the evening working with her. It helps that we have a lot in common. I like her a lot.

So, that's about it I think. Looking forward to going home for Thanksgiving. Haven't been there can't even remember. Before my birthday I think, which was quite a while ago. Wow. I don't think I've been home for almost 3 months. That's the longest I've ever been away from home before. Weird. Well, it's about time I made it back to Waldo, then. So get ready, Waldo. I will soon be on my way.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Favorite quotes from this past Sunday:

"I just look at it as a deposit in the bank of love." -Glenn

"My Christmas tree isn't pagan. There's so much love in that tree." -Cathy

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Our recent excursion to red River Gorge, aka Red River Gorgeous....get it? Red River Gorgeous?! hahahaha ;) That was the name of our cabin area. haha Anyway, we had a great time, and I made a couple new friends. Sweet. The area down there is beautiful....I had no idea there was something so cool within 3 1/2 hours of Oxford. Fantastic. I wish I had discovered it BEFORE winter was just getting ready to set in. *sigh* Oh well. It was nice to discover it at all. We had a wonderful night last night of being silly, and today we had a day of hiking and exploring. And we also had some good talks. Needed time away for all of us I think. So, here's a few pics:

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

"It's such an extraordinary thing, music. It is how we speak to God finally - or how we don't. Even if we're ignoring God. It's the language of the spirit. If you believe that we contain within our skin and bones a spirit that might last longer than your time breathing in and out - if there is a spirit, music is the thing that wakes it up." -Bono, U2

Monday, November 14, 2005

I am typing from my "new" computer, which has wireless internet, a CD burner, a DVD burner, and I can finally use a laptop like a laptop rather than have a ghetto laptop that works as a desktop. Yes! :) I'm super excited.

Also excited about:

Going camping this weekend in Red River Gorge with some amazing peeps. If you want to come, get a hold of me!

Friday, November 11, 2005

Alright, dudes, I finally mustered up the courage....I will officially be playing a night of my own on February 24th, 10pm, at Kofenya. As far as I know, my accomplice (at least for some of the songs, if not all) will be Miss Christi Lee. I figured that would be a good time, because it is just a few days before I leave for my 6 month hiatus on the Appalachian Trail. Kind of a fairwell get-together hopefully, so I can see most of my friends before I leave. So, that's the latest scoop. :)

Thursday, November 10, 2005

So, McKenzie and I found out that those little metal animals with springs on the bottom sometimes found in parks and playgrounds are not really made for big people. I have bruises to show you why. lol But man, we had a great time much laughter, climbing trees and playing on the playground by her house. For a moment, I felt like a kid again. It was great. So is McKenzie.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

This is my RFL (Roomie for Life) or AKA FMR (Forever My Roomie). We had an outing last week of snapping pics for her senior recital. I think this was my favorite. Here's another one that I really liked:

She's so amazing. Can't wait to play music with her again soon!!! :)

I want to write about an experience I had tonight, and then some thoughts that followed.

I was on my way home from Kofenya, it was about 12:30am. There was this dude on the side of the road with his car, kind of waving at me as I drove by...and at other cars and stuff. So, I decided to stop, turn around, and go back. I said a quick prayer of protection, and drove up to the dude and asked what was wrong. His car had stopped working (yeah! Just stopped working while he was driving!) and his cell phone wasn't working, so he just needed a cell phone. He said he was from UC, so I told him I'd give him a ride back if he needed it. He said he was staying in Oxford for the nite, so that wasn't necessary, but he did use my phone to call his girlfriend to come pick him up. He said then that I could leave and thanks....and I made sure he didn't need anything else....and told him that if he did, my number should be on the phone of the girl he just called when she arrived to pick him up. And, here's the funny part.....he was like "Who are you?!?! I mean, you were going to drive me to Clifton....just nothing better to do?" I said, "well, sleep I guess. But that's no big deal." And he said "Well, I guess not everyone up here at Miami is a prick like I thought" or something along those lines. And so we said our goodbyes after shaking hands, and I went on my way, and he onto his, and that was that.

Now, I am not telling this story to give Kim a big pat-on-the-back or anything. I was processing through some things. Here were my thoughts afterward. There are always these social "safty precautions" that we are supposed to take or know, not stop for hitchhikers and things like that. And the fact that I was alone in my car late at night, with a potential drunk guy (he wasn't drunk by the way, but very well could have been by the way he was waving his arms around and stuff) along the road would probably wave a big red social "no no" flag. But, I just kind of wonder if that's all a big piece of poop. Because really, to help someone, isn't it worth risking my health? I mean, what if someone in his car had been seriously hurt or something? Regardless of suspicions, aren't we supposed to help and trust God to protect? I mean, if it is obvious that someone is dangerous and has bad intentions (and I mean OBVIOUS), then I think we are safe to stay away. But if someone looks like they might need help, aren't we called to stop and help them and trust that God has the situation under control? I think our society has done such a great job of instilling fear in us, that we are missing great opportunities to help people and show love. My greatest thought on the way home: Wouldn't I rather be hurt or killed stopping to try to help someone than risk leaving someone in the dark who really needed help at the time? Something I am pondering......because what our society says is not always right. And I'm tired of living in fear.

OK, I'm done ranting.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Well, I pulled my second consecutive 12-hour shift today at the theater, and I had to miss church tonight to do so, which, you know, sometimes makes me wonder if I made the right choice. But, it was an awesome day. It started off with a hug from Spen, and that was awesome. And work just went well in the afternoon. Richard stopped in, and we probably talked for an hour and a half, mostly about ghosts...and I think we decided to disagree on whether they exist or not (you can take a guess which side I take). I also had some cool dicussions about faith and God and stuff with one of my employees, and those conversations always amaze me, because I'm not usually the initiator. And it was funny, because I totally felt this one coming on....I knew it was going to be about God. And no credit to me, God just happens to put these people in my pathway, and sometimes I feel so insufficient, but thank God that His grace is sufficient for me! :) Anyway, it was a cool convo, and possibly opened doors and things, and something he said also really stuck out to me. He said that when growing up in the church, he felt like they were there to give him support, but he never really felt like they gave him the support he really needed. I just found it interesting, because I think that is a profound observation of the church, and something from which the body of Christ can listen and learn.

Anyway, later Anthony and Megan came to visit as we were closing, which was great. We hung out in the office while I did paperwork, and then Megan had to leave for sleep's sake, but Anthony stayed after hours because I told him I would play him a song on my guitar. So we went on the roof of the marquee and I played him a few songs, one of my own, and we talked about a lot of things. It was just amazing.....I love the connections with people here. So many wonderful people. Everyone is so unique, and we get such a diverse crowd at the theater. I really do like my job, and I really like the people there, too. The regulars especially. So, I will go to bed tonight thinking of all the people I saw at the theater today.....Richard, Todd, Woody, Megan, Anthony.....and think about how much I appreciate all of them. And I will also go to bed thinking about the person for which I worked today: Doug. Happy Birthday to Doug!!! :) Nite, world.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Posting a little late, but Spen's birthday was yesterday. He has now entered the realm of adulthood I'd say, since he is officially no longer a teen-ager. It's hard to believe he will be the big Two One next year. Wow. My little brother. Wow. But anyway, here's just a few memorable moments that capture some of the past years with an exciting and amazingly awesome sib:

The time Spen got whacked in the face with a hammer by one of the boys my mom babysat and had to get stitches, when we were out on the back porch (probably 1987 or 88 or so) during the contructive addition onto our house....and I whispered to Spen to go ask the contruction workers if the metal plate on the floor of the cement porch was the "shi**er" (from "Christmas Vacation") which he proceeded to do infront of all the workers and my mom, how Spen used to bite his tongue when he was mad and about to do something about it, watching Spen run around the bases when he played baseball.....because his little legs would move 100mph....he was/is so fast!, when Spen accepted Christ at a Skillet concert, watching Spen get baptized in a trough in Glenn and Cathy's back yard, when Spen was elected class speaker for his graduation....and he talked about how Christ had changed his life.....SWEET, watching God work in Spen's life over the past couple years.....AMAZING, and finally, sharing a house with Spen several years after living at home together with Mom and Dad (we are, of course, building memories as we speak.....a lot of which relate to Spen randomly picking up his guitar and playing along with me on piano in our guest/music room). I love my little bro. Happy Birthday, Spenny.