My Joblessness Continues

Well, I think I have been politely told that I didn't get the position at Barnes and Noble. I called to ask about the status of the position, and he told me they are still interviewing and that I should hear from them by Tuesday. That basically means it's not me.....because on interview #2, I was told it was between me and one other person, and now, after interview #3, I am being told there are several still to interview with Martin (#3 dude). So, I am accepting the fact that I didn't get the job, which, I have mixed emotions about.

I am crying right now, but when I sit to think about it, I don't think it is because I will not be working as cafe manager at Barnes and Noble. When I really thinking about it, deep down I don't think I really wanted the job anyway. I think what I am upset about is not knowing what to do with my life right now. For a couple weeks, I had at least something to shoot for, something to work on, something to try to achieve. It gave me a little bit of direction for a while. So it's not the job itself, it's just the idea of having some kind of security. I'm ok with not getting the job, but I'm not ok with feeling so lost.

Anothony, the giver

Tonight I had the privilege of meeting up with Anthony, the infamous customer at the Princess 4, and also a friend. :) I haven't seen him for probably 6 months (which isn't unusual for a lot of my friends now, since I was gone for 4), and we had a splendid time. You know, Anthony has such a child-likeness about him.....he's always so much fun and I think brings out the best in people. And he always seems to remind me that I am not here on this earth for my own personal benefit. He really is pretty amazing.

We shared a pretty deep moment tonight, too. Several, really. But one in particular that I hope to remember. While he was talking to me in the parking lot, a song popped in my head that I wanted to share with him (If You Want Me To by Ginny Owens). This song has special meaning to me because it was on a CD given to me by our JV softball coach who knew I had struggled with eating disorders and life in general over my last couple years of high school. He gave me the CD as a graduation present and told me to listen particularly to this song. And, because the song is about staying strong and obedient to God through our struggles and lack of understanding, I thought it might mean something to Anthony, too, since he is moving in a couple weeks to NC and leaving behind his friends and the familiar to a place where he feels God has called him to go.

Anyway, there was a Christian bookstore just across the street from where we were, and so we went over to get the CD, which they just so happened to have (and the lady said it was unusual they would have an old CD like this one on stock). We then headed back to my car and listened to the song. It was just one of those moments you want to be suspended in for a long time.......it was raining, and we were listening to this beautiful song play through the speakers of my car. It definitely brought tears to my eyes......this was the same song I had sobbed to many nights at different periods in my life after my senior year in high school. And I think it touched Anthony, too. I praise God for Ginny Owens and her ability to draw people nearer to the Creator, and I praise God also for setting up everything just right tonight so that Anthony could hear that song and be encouraged.

So, that was pretty much the end of our evening. We hugged in the rain for a long time (since rainy hugs are the best kind, you know) and decided we should try to meet one more time before he leaves so that I can get a picture of him and so he can give me one of his crazy stories (this one is about the manitees of doom). *laugh* I'm def going to miss him.

Bella

Here is the cutie I am currently babysitting:

Round 3

Interview #3 is Monday at 3pm. Good grief, I never knew it was such an ordeal to get a job offer.

On other notes, TJ and I had a good talk time tonight after watching The World's Fastest Indian (good movie, by the way). It was nice to just sit and talk with him. We are both fighting our own battles right now, totally unrelated, but so nice to just sit and listen for a while and then be listened to. Neither one of us had solutions for the other, but I think it was the sharing part that we both needed. The talking out loud allows mental processing that I don't think happens when we try to walk through things in our head. So, TJ is my buddy, and I'm very glad. :)

I'm trying to figure out a lot of things right now, some of which I discussed with numerous wise people today. Those things include:

1. How can I listen to God?
2. Is there always a "better" choice?
3. Am I capable?
4. Am I ready to depart from my church community and move on to a different one?
5. Why do I feel like my looks define me and how do I overcome that?
6. How do I become more disciplined?
7. What role does a job play in my life?


Besides thinking about things like this, today I also:

1. Changed 2 poopy diapers
2. Had 3 different coffees from 3 different places all before 10am
3. Bought a $10 pair of dress shoes for an interview on my way to the interview
4. Had an interview
5. Visited Megan
6. Visited Spenny
7. Had dinner with G and C
8. Visited with G, C, and Andrea
9. Talked to Micah on the phone
10. Had a good chat with TJ


Today, I learned:

1. Sometimes, the best advice from my friends is pretty much no advice at all (basically, forcing me to seek God on my own and make my own decisions)
2. "You lead people, you manage tasks"
3. Discipline is really important
4. It's ok to talk about faith in interviews
5. I'm learning how to play the interview game
6. Colerain Walmart is always busy (and dirty)
7. If I were an employer interviewing me, I would not hire me
8. I'm starting to like babies more
9. I have serious issues with being evaluated
10. I am completely, utterly, and totally blessed in so many areas of my life, specifically the friend area

Interview #2

Interview #2 tomorrow morning for the Cafe Manager position at B&N, and I just ironed a hole in my only pair of dress pants. Did I ever mention that I hate interviews???

In my struggle right now with faith and just life in general, tonight at church I was humbly reminded that God does cool things if we only allow Him to.

And I want to thank Vir for giving me a spirit of thanksgiving and reminding me that everything.....EVERYTHING......I have is a blessing and that it all belongs to God, not me. I spend a lot of time thinking about the things I don't have (my own house, a real job, a super model body, a boyfriend/husband, etc...) when really I should be thinking about the many many amazing things that I do have (a beautiful family, a wonderful family to live with right now, amazing friends, a loving community, a car, a pool out back of TJ's house, my own freewill, a glorious God, good health, etc....I could go on and on). I think it's beginning to occur to me that my time here is short. What in the world am I doing with the time and resources that have been given to me?

Gone Dancing

Today while running cirles to make a whirlpool in TJ's pool out back, TJ and I decided that we needed to do something fun tonight. Well, TJ's uncle plays in a jazz band at the fancy schmancy Celestial close to the river in Cinci, so we decided to give him a visit tonight and listen to some music. It was lovely. The place is just gorgeous and has an inspiring view of the city out of the many large windows at the side of the bar. There was no conver charge, and majority of the people there were over 55. Let me clarify, though, that we went to the lounge and not the restaurant (which is extremely expensive). It brought me a lot of joy to sit and watch the older people dancing and having fun. They all seemed to be enjoying themselves so much, and naturally, most of them know how to dance (too bad our generation isn't following in their footsteps). Well, with the older people dancing and the live music hoppin', I just couldn't sit still, so TJ had no choice but to get up and learn to dance. hehe Let me tell you, he is quite the dancer. Just tonight, he learned the Fox Trot, the Cha Cha, and Swing. We had a blast (at least I did), and I was even asked to dance by two other older guys!!! *laugh* I kindly turned them down because I was afraid of messing up (they were pretty good, you know), but if I go again and get asked, I think I'll say yes. I am easily wooed by a man who can dance. ;) And those old guys, they're awfully smooth. hehe

Anyway, it was a fun nite. And I only hope that I can be that fun when I'm 60, 70, 80.....

Pics

I knew there was an easier way to do this. Check out my pics here.

Super Sunday

So Sunday was awesome. Headed to the Ohio State Fair with Lace, where we got to see a cow being milked and watch part of a horse show, as well as a frisbee dog show, a comedian juggler act, and a dude take a chainsaw to a log and turn it into an eagle. We also got to experience "monster bowls" of homemade ice cream and see a life-size cow made of butter. Good times at the fair. But best of all was the Rascal Flatts concert at Crew Stadium. We were 17 rows from the front, and the concert couldn't have been better. Not only does Rascal Flatts have awesome songs, but they have amazing musicians as well. During the show, their bassist had a drum duet showdown with their real drummer, and he later played a song on the piano. Oh, did I mention that he sings while he plays drums and bass, too? This guy was amazing! Jay, I believe, is his name. And then there's the lead guitarist, who, as Lacey pointed out, is "soooo cute!" hehe And the violinist they have is incredible! He had this sweet sweet solo before one of the songs where he just played and played and played......dang, it was "sick" (as they say up north). And in the middle of the concert, they all walked onto a platform that then lifted them up and out away from the stage and onto another stage in the middle of the crowd.

I'm so glad we got the opportunity to go. Lace and I became country cowgirls for a day, and to go along with the theme, wore our new cowboy hats. :) It was a lot of a fun.

And Micah, they definitely played "Mayberry" and "God Blessed the Broken Road." Couldn't help but think of ya when they played those. :) Maybe some day their violinist will retire and you can take his spot (although I still think you should get a hold of Jars). :)

Anyway, tomorrow I'm off to TJ's, so I'll try to post from his house when I have time. Here's some love for ya'll: *Loooooooooooooooove* And check out the pics of Sunday on my next post.

Rascal Flatts

So, Rascal Flatts might have put on the best concert I've ever seen. It was A-MA-ZA-ZING. But I'm not really going to talk about it now until I can upload the pics, which will probably be tomorrow. I'll talk about the fair, then, too. I can tell you, though, that the best part of my day was definitely hanging with my little sis. :)

Until tomorrow......

Ohio State Fair

Well, I can finally write this on my blog because I know Lacey won't read it before we leave (I don't think she reads it anyway, but just in case.....). I am surprising her today with a trip to the Ohio State Fair (yeehaw!), which we will top off at the end of the day with a sold-out RASCAL FLATTS concert!!!! I can't wait. They've definitely become one of my favorite bands, and Lacey likes them, too, so I thought it was a great opportunity for us to get to hang out. I'm super excited. I even bought cowboy hats for us to wear. hehehe Anyway, I'll write about it sometime soon when I get a chance.

Other updates: had a job interview for cafe manager at Barnes and Noble in Cinci on Friday. It went okay. Not great, but not horrible I guess. I made it to the next round of interviews, so I guess that's a plus. Do I think I'll get the job? I'm pretty doubtful.....I didn't realize the job was primarily focused on sales, and besides our simple up-selling at the theater, I don't have much experience with that, and quite frankly, I don't know that I would enjoy it that much, either. I don't like feeling like I am pushing something on people that they don't really want or that they get kind of tricked into buying. I know that's what business is all about....increasing revenue and all that. But maybe that's one thing I really liked about Kofenya.....we never had to worry about the sales, it was all about customer service and being friendly. I just feel like it's better that way. I suppose that stems from my lack of interest in money as well. I really don't care about making more money as long as I'm happy and have enough to keep me alive, you know what I mean? But, if I do get the job and what they ask of me is to focus on sales and increasing percentages and all that, then that's what I'll do, and I'm sure I'll be good at it.

Also new info: I am going to be staying at TJ's house for a little while after I get done cat-sitting so that I can help out around the house. Things have gotten kind of crazy for them right now, and so they could use an extra hand or two for a while. I'm pretty stoked. I get to hang out with one of the coolest families I know. :)

Other news: I need to go take a shower and get ready for the fair. :) Yay Rascal Flatts! And I get to hang out with my sis! Even better. :) To anyone reading this today, enjoy the weather! It's so amazing outside. Go romp in the wild flowers or something.

Sweet Day

Yes, I did make it to church this morning. It was rather enjoyable. Like Christi's comment, it's definitely not Veritas, but I also have to remember that it took me 5 years to be where I'm at with Veritas, too. I liked this church because they really seemed geared toward outreach. After church today, they were walking around the neighborhood (one of the poorer sections of Marion) and passing out bags of popcorn to invite people to a drive-in movie at the church (to be shown on the outside wall of the church). I thought that was awesome. I mean, of course there were things I didn't like about the church, but there is no perfect church, and I did feel sort of at home.....more than I would in a lot of churches. So that was cool. If I were to stay in Marion, I'd probably go there, but that's not 100% either.

So, after church, I thought I was going to see a movie with Mackster, but it didn't really work out *sad face*, but that's ok. Another time. I did, however, get to drive to Toledo to see the Toledo concert band play. The theme was Hollywood or something along those lines, so I got to hear some good stuff, INCLUDING music from O Brother Where Art Thou. That's right. :) And the best part: I got to hear Micah play his violin as a guest musician (playing at the zoo amphitheater). It was wonderful. I can't tell you how much I love to hear Micah play......he's soooooooo good! It's kind of like you get mesmerized or something....sucked in....and then you just kind of sit in awe at how awesome he is. And then afterward we got to hang out for a while, and I finally met his mom and re-met his sister and dad. It was a great time. Lots of laughs as always.

AND SO, to finish up my blog tonight because it's getting really late, I have a funny (and true) story from tonight:

OK, so I parked in the front parking lot of the zoo for the concert. Micah (being a musician) got to park really close in the back of the amphitheater. So, after the concert, we both walked to Micah's car and he drove out of the zoo and around the neighborhood to get me to my car in the other parking lot (approx a 6 minute drive). We get there, and they have locked the gates into the zoo! So, I can't get to my car. Sooooo.....we drive back to Micah's parking lot, park his car, walk about 8 minutes through the zoo and out to my car in the other parking lot, drive to the gate to find that the other gate is locked as well. Soooooo......I drive back up to the zoo entrance, and luckily we run into a security guard, who follows us back out to the gate and unlocks it so we can leave. (are you still with me?) Soooooo....we drive back to Micah's parking lot, only to find that the automatic gate only opens to cars from the inside and not the outside, so now we can't get IN to get Micah's car. *laugh* This is getting quite hysterical. But here's the best part. We are sitting there trying to figure out how to get in when we finally decide the best solution is to hop the fence. Micah is still in his concert clothes, so I happily volunteer (I'm in for an adventure, of course). Sooooo.....I climb to the top of the 10 foot fence only to find that my pants have caught on the pokey things. I spend about 60 seconds trying to uncatch myself without falling off on either side, finally giving up and just sitting on the pokey things and saying “ouch” a lot. Then just as I am trying to get uncaught again, a zoo worker comes up to us and says, "Hey, I can let you in." YEAH, NOW you show up. Since I am still caught but I really want to get down, I go ahead and climb down anyway, ripping a huge hole in the back of my pants. I later found, too, that my wrist was bleeding from a scratch from the pokey things. But we finally got in and got Micah's car, and that's what really matters. Mission accomplished. And it was quite a riot. And an adventure! :) And now I have a cool flesh wound and a sweet hole in my pants to remind me of our dangerous style of living on the edge and attempting to break in to the Toledo Zoo.

OK, nitey nite.

Well, tomorrow, if I wake up in time, I'm trying out a church here in town called New Vision Community Church. I tried it a couple years ago when I was home for a while....they met in the Marion branch OSU theater area or something. Now they have their own building, and a 16-yr-old in my kick boxing class invited me to come. So, I'm going to try to get my butt in gear and try it out tomorrow.

Also tomorrow.....possibly seeing the new Will Farrel movie with Mackster and his fam.

AND....I JUST found out that Micah is playing at the Toledo zoo tomorrow nite at 7:30, and though I didn't really want to do more driving this weekend (not because I don't like driving, but because of gas prices) since I already went to Findlay to visit Mack (which was GREAT), I can't pass up an opportunity to hear Micah play! It's been way too long. So, I'm super excited about that.

So, good things going on. Hard for me to get out because I tend to get depressed easily lately, but I'm hanging in there. Still job searching, too. And missing all my peeps in O-town. And my peeps from the trail, too.