Living Sacrifice

Thursday, May 26, 2005

The power of the living God:

Last night, I had this dream. I was in a house with a bunch of people, and we were just hanging out. Then we heard people in the neighborhood screaming.....a huge crowd. And they were getting closer and closer to the house. Then one woman that I know came in the house and we all said, "Lock the door!" I asked her "What's wrong? What's happening?" But she just looked at us with big eyes. So we all looked out the window, and saw the townspeople running around screaming, being chased by these really tall, skinny, spirit-like creatures. We were all filled with fear. Immediately, I dropped to my knees on the floor and prayed to God. I said something along the lines of asking God to protect us in Jesus's name and that we put our trust in His protection. As soon as I said about 3 sentences of prayer, I woke up.

I share this not to glorify was a dream.....but instead to show the power God has even over our minds while we are sleeping. This dream was bringing fear to me, and God never desires us to live in fear. Because of Christ's grace and mercy to hear my plea, I woke up. :) Pretty sweet, my God is. :)

Monday, May 23, 2005

Yesssssssss! I now have a little grill and two really nice chairs for my back porch for next year compliments of Veritas! :) I'm really excited. That means people need to come over and visit next year so I can grill something and we can chill on the back porch in my sweet chairs. hehe

Well, I got to see Stomp this weekend with my parents and Lace, it was AWESOME!! That was my second time seeing them.....last time was about 8 years ago I think. Man, I really wanted to stand up and dance around the theater, but that didn't seem like it would be appropriate. lol Feeling those rythyms and beats, though, made me think of worship. There's just something about certain beats and using our bodies to make music, and I couldn't help but think "WOW! This would be like the ultimate job to have." I am realizing more and more that I think I need to eventually do something with music....I'm not very good at any one instrument, but honestly, there's something in me I think.....something possibly God has instilled in me......I just have a passion for music, and anytime I sing or hear music, it's almost like something inside of me happens. This doesn't necessarily mean I have to be a famous musician or something....I could even see myself starting a recording studio someday.....or running a soundboard. I don't know....anything that has to do with music. And though I don't have the skills, I've been realizing that I love dancing, too. I think I just never gave myself the chance.

Anyway, being graduated now, I am thinking a lot about career stuff, and so this is why this has all been on my mind. But back to Stomp....they are AMAZING, and if you ever get the chance to go, I think even if you don't like music or percussion, you can still enjoy their show. :)

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Finally got a couple decent grad pics on here. Ain't my parents the cutest??? :)

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Well, life is going on and on. It continues, and I am a college graduate. But you know, not much has changed except my perception of the reception of a college degree. I thought it would be my easy gateway into a job, but instead I am finding that it is worth just about as much as the piece of paper it’s written on. Shhhh…don’t tell my parents! *laugh* Just kidding. I mean, I do not regret the last four years of my life…I know I learned a lot about people and life, and I don’t think I would change experiencing the college life. I think the only thing I might change is my degree. But I don’t know…maybe not even that. It’s just that a psyche undergrad isn’t worth much to the world, even if I do have magna cum laude or whatever the heck that is. It doesn’t matter much to the world. I went to a job interview for a drug rehab center in Hamilton, Ohio, which starts pay at like $9.35 an hour (if you do the math, that’s gonna be somewhere around $19,000 a year). But…I didn’t even get that job….which really was ok with me, because I’m not sure I really wanted it anyway….I wasn’t sure what I was going to say if she called me back and told me I had the job. I think it’s more the concept….that even with a psyche degree from MU, with good grades, with a managerial position at my job and experience with both older people and younger people through my other job and BBBS, I couldn’t get a job for $19,000 a year (which is less than a manager would make at a fast food place most likely without a college degree). It just seems kind of silly. The lady was very nice and called me back. She told me I just didn’t have enough “experience.” That was frustrating, because I’m like “What do I do with that?” I thought that this job would be my entry level experience for different stuff later on down the road, but evidently, you need “experience” to get a job for $19,000 a year. Wow.

So, my job searching continues. I just don’t know what I want to do…..what I would really enjoy. I’m considering substitute teaching for a while until I figure things out, because I think it would be fun…I love kids, and it wouldn’t tie me down to any real commitments for the time being. I’m not really in a hurry to be tied down, I just want to feel secure in knowing I have enough money to pay rent, car insurance, health insurance, etc. To have some extra money to fix my car, get a guitar, and get a new computer with some rocking sound equipment would be nice, too, but those things might have to wait. I just might have to be poor for a little while. Or a long while. I don’t know, but I should be ok with that, right? Things will work out. God provides. Always.

Something Vir said to me has stuck in my head….. “If you could do anything, what would you do?” and then she was like “I know the answer to that” and we both laughed. If you know me well, you probably know the answer to that, too. I love music, and I would love to do something with that. Play, sing, record, whatever….anything involving music. I love it. I’ve come to the realization over the past couple years that it’s my passion (besides Christ), and I’ve just never allowed it to be manifested in my life because I’ve always been consumed with sports, grades, and whatever else. And now…I’m allowing a “job” for money to get in the way. Should I figure out how I can pursue something that I know I will love for the rest of my life? What do I do with that passion? I’m not very good at any one instrument. Just average at everything. So is it possible for me to pursue some kind of career with this at all? Is it feasible? Is it rational? I don’t know. Not everything in life is meant to be reasonable and rational, though. You know, I just don’t know….. lol And I continue to press on……

By the way, I’m WAY excited about having Spen working at the theater with me. Vic, Spen, and I worked together on Monday, and it was AWEWSOME! Vir said “It’s not even going to be like work for you guys….it’s just going to be play.” *laugh* And it pretty much was. Work changes completely when you are working with people you love, people who are brothers (or sisters) in Christ. It’s something I cherish, and I’m so thankful to God for it. And I’m really looking forward to living with Spenny in a couple months. YAY!

Friday, May 13, 2005


Wow, how does it seem that when you allow yourself to get into a conversation with someone, God always seems to come up somehow? I think it's awesome. Tonight was a most amazing experience of God orchestrating and loving on multiple levels.

Vir, Kara, and I decided to go uptown to Hole in the Wall to visit Misty for her birthday. There weren't many people there, and she was really happy to see us (and visa versa!) I wish she could see how beautiful she is.......but anyway, two girls randomly introduced themselves to us, one who was named Dana and who continued to talk to us. All Kara did was mention that she was studying Russian, and then it was "what for?" or something along those lines, and Kara mentioned mission work, and it was off from there! I mostly listened while Vir and Dana had a most amazing conversation about relationships with God as Dana talked about her whole life story....which sounds like it has been very tough for her. Vir shared a lot of Truth with her while also listening so compassionately. I love how Vir can relate to people so well....she's amazing. The whole conversation went really well, and Vir even had a word from God to give Dana. It was awesome. I hope to see her again sometime, and just being at the bar tonight made me realize that a lot of broken people dwell there.....and when there's alcohol involved, they open up more, too. Not saying that people should drink in order to share, but it is interesting how willing people become to share their deeper thoughts and inner hurts and feelings when intoxicated. But anyway, we went into the bar tonight to visit Misty, which we got to do, but God had something else in mind, and that was because He wanted Dana to know how much she is loved by Him. :) And I think she got a glimpse of that.

Oh, and during the conversation some time, something really sweet happened. Dana was talking about how she can see things in people, and so she proceeded to tell each of us something about ourselves. She looked at Vir and said "You've been through some sh** in your life," (and she said it in a compassionate way...not offensively). Then she looked at Kara and told her that she was really sweet and innocent (which is totally true). And then she looked at me..........and said said "And you are beautiful." I almost cired. She continued to tell me that I try to hide it by trying to be someone I'm not. I'm not sure what happened just then....when she told us all those things.....but I feel like it was from God....maybe the Holy Spirit working through her without her really knowing. Regardless, it was completely and utterly awesome.......and what else should I expect? I serve a completely and utterly awesome God.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Well, here I am, officially graduated from Miami University of Oxford, Ohio, with a degree in Psychology and a minor in Family Relationships:

(This picture is currently being edited) :)

So, how do I feel? Well, I'm actually not as excited as I thought I was going to be. I mean, of course I'm happy to be done more pressure for grades.....but I'm realizing already the responsibilities that come with graduating from college, and it's a little scary. And I've found myself being rather depressed the last few days as well, though I haven't really completely dug into those feelings yet. At some points, I have felt like just sitting down to cry. I think it just has a lot to do with transitions in my life right now.....just all being a little overwhelming and stuff. Eh, it'll pass.

On other notes, I wish I knew how to post songs on here for people to listen to, because McKenzie and I created a song on Thursday night for her mom on Mother's Day, and it's AWESOME because McKenzie sings in it! I love it! She came up with most of the lyrics and also helped me do some of the instrumentation. It was so much fun. :)

By the way, any job leads from the few blog readers out there would be readily accepted! ;)

Friday, May 06, 2005

Well, guys, for those who didn't know yet, I am officially bound to Oxford for another year. Yep....above is a picture of the apartment I just leased on Wednesday with my little brother, so we will be chilling out in a three bedroom pad literally 2 doors down from Glenn and Cathy. Wow. Can't wait to see what God has in store.

And............Still no job. :)

Thursday, May 05, 2005

One last exam of my Miami career. Am I prepared? Definitely not. But there are many more important things going on in the world besides my exam, let me tell ya! But life has been good the past few days, and I think I'm gonna survive graduation weekend, so all is well in my world. Looking forward to hitting up the Fat Fish Blue with my family on Friday night, and then hopefully dancing Irish jigs on Saturday night after graduation. Scott and his cousin may come to church on Sunday, which I'm so pumped about! So, good things going on. AND......I have a top secret surprise that will be revealed tomorrow night sometime, so I'll be sure to blog about it, because I'm totally stoked!

By the way, no job leads yet. It'll come. The Lord knows I need money to live, so He'll provide and give me direction as a seek diligently.