So, today I got to paint at the pottery place with Christi. It was fun. And then when I went to visit Doug at the theater while Christi was finishing up, someone walked past the theater and I was like "Is that Ellen?" Sure enough, here comes none other than Miss Ellen Nettleton herself. It was amazing. I haven't seen her in probably a year and a half, maybe 2 years. She came over to the pottery place and hung out with me and Christi.....gave us both a pair of homemade earrings for Christmas. She's so amazing. It was so good to see her. AND.....she's going to open for me on the 24th of Feb!!! I can't wait. So now not only do I get to play with Christi on cello for some songs and my friend Justin on the sax for a song or two, but I get to have Ellen play so beautifully before I play. It's going to be amazing.

After that, Doug gave me his Christmas present.......SEVEN CDs from Over the Rhine. That's right. SEVEN. Wow, I am so excited to listen to them all, I wish I had the time and money to just go on a huge road trip and listen to them for hours. But, my 2.5 hour trip home will just have to do. It'll be great.

I also got to chill with my homie Murle tonight, which was great, even if our hang out time did get interrupted by me getting called into work for 2.5 hours right when Murle and I were supposed to watch a movie. Oh well. And Murle, when you read this.....I forgot to pay you for my half of the dinner! Don't let me forget....and thanks for renting the movies.

2 days before Christmas. Yes, I am shopping tomorrow.....I have a lot to get yet, and not looking forward to fighting the crowds tomorrow. But I'll attempt to make it fun. And I get to hang out with TJ and his fam tomorrow!! Yay!

K, I think that's it. If you think of it and have time and have the desire to, please pray for me.....Just whatever comes to mind. Thanks.

Well, Lace and I got a little bored at the Birchfield Christmas, so I started taking "glamour" shots of her in my glasses, and it all just went downhill from there. hehehe It continued until we got home, where I took many "involuntary" pictures of Lacey, too. I think I might have Jason Syndrome when I get a camera in my hand. :) The pics are below. But overall, the Birchfield Christmas went really well this year, and I really enjoyed seeing everyone....more than I thought I would. My grandpa's cousin (not sure how that makes him related to me.....great cousin?) is Spencer's age and in a band, and he gave me a burnt copy of his CD, which is kind of etherial (if that's a word) and reminds me of Esther Drang at least a little bit. I can't wait to drive home and listen to the whole thing. I love picking up new music, especially when it's from a relative. lol

Oh, and last night Spen's friends came over, as they often do when Spen is home. After brushing my teeth, I walked out of the bathroom only to find two shining moons in my face wearing thongs. Yes, they were wearing thongs...plus size women's thongs. Oh my goodness, it was scary. I have the image engraved in my brain....it'll be there for a while.

Good times in Waldo. Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO GLENN a day late!!

I watched King Kong tonight with Megan, Doug, and Phil from Hemptations. Doug left about 40 minutes into the film to go to bed, but the rest of us toughed it out until 4 in the morning...It's a really long film. It was actually better than I thought it would be, but I still think Jack Black shouldn't have been casted in that role. Oh, and if you think the male actor who plays a male actor in the movie looks familiar.....he's from the show "Early Edition." Yep. Do you remember that? The show where the newspaper came to the guy a day early? yeah, that's the guy. Megan and I flipped out. And I really like Adrein Brody. Ever since I saw him in "The Village," I've thought he was pretty cool.

I think the highlight of being at the theater tonight, though, came before the show started. We finally got rid of projector 2 today, and got a newer replacement. The old projector is still on the floor upstairs, though, and as I was working on getting out a brain wrap on one of the platters, I heard Doug say, "Hey Kim!" and as I looked up, Doug spit on the old projector and said, "I hate that projector." Wish I had a picture of him spitting on it. :)

It was a really great day. Really great. For so many reasons. The highlight might have been when I found a note in my stocking at Kofenya from Jason. :) But instead of writing about my amazing day, I'm going to bed. Nighty night.

Here's a section of an IM conversation I had with my friend Justin tonight....I figured I'd post it rather than typing out how my day went, since I explained it in our convo:

birch2201: hmmmm
birch2201: well, I have seemingly been really emotional lately....and just feeling horrible about myself I guess, and certain circumstances in my life. Just feeling lost I guess. Things I've talked to you about before. And it all comes out at various times because I think I hold it in a lot
birch2201: and so, my boss could tell something was wrong
birch2201: when I came into work
birch2201: and he hugged me
birch2201: and I just started crying
birch2201: so, that was the beginning of my work day
birch2201: then a projector died
birch2201: we are getting a new one for theater 2 on Monday
birch2201: then.....one of the platters wasn't working right, or so I thought, causing Rent to stop several times during the movie....during a busy set....making everything crazy
birch2201: I realized later that the reason Rent was stopping was because I had the platter on rewind instead of pay out
birch2201: so, basically I cost the company 22 free tickets
birch2201: but....when I switched it back to pay out.....the film stopped again....
birch2201: so maybe it wasn't all me...
birch2201: I don't know
birch2201: but it was still a stupid mistake
birch2201: and because I was already feeling bad about myself, that made me feel even worse
birch2201: I called Doug to tell him what happened
birch2201: and naturally, I cried again
birch2201: lol
birch2201: just one of those days I guess
jrBaDBoY1: oh man
jrBaDBoY1: thats sad
jrBaDBoY1: i'm sorry
birch2201: and besides all that, we were incredibly busy
birch2201: because of Narnia
jrBaDBoY1: yea i bet
birch2201: so I mostly just had to suck it up
birch2201: and deal with it
birch2201: but I survived


Later, though, Megan came in to visit me, and she helped me clean some theaters, and we got to have some good one-on-one converations, and I got to confess some things to her, and just spend time and talk with her. It was really good. After talking with her some, we both realized that we are struggling with some similar things, and it was SO nice to finally have someone that I felt I could relate to in certain areas of my life. I won't go into detail for the fact of sparing Megan's confidentiality, but it was much needed conversation, and I'm so glad Megan decided to stop by. I can't help but think that God knew we needed each other at that moment to relate to one another. It was good. Really good.

And some more good things: Christi's senior recital last night was AMAZING! She has improved so much over the last 4 years. And she even wrote a note about me in the back of her program. :) It was great. I'm so glad we got put together in the same room freshman year. I can't imagine my life without her!

And I went out to eat and then to Kofenya and then sledding with Justin last night. Wow, I cannot express how much fun sledding is at 1 in the morning, but it is.....hmmmm......really really awesome. I even ramped some of the snow-ramps that had been built....with a new sled that is totally sweet (if you want to try it out, call me and ask me to go sledding with you!) sledding just brought back so many great memories of spending hours in the snow with Spen and JB, building forts and making ramps. I remember how we used to take spray bottles of water outside to spray onto the ramps to pack the snow better and make the ramp more solid. Or sometimes, when it was super cold, dragging the hose to the sloping field next to our yard and making ice trails to sled on between the stubbled corn stalks. Good times. I think Little Lace even got in on some of those with us. :)

So, it was cool to sled and feel like I kid again. And remember the times as a kid. It's kind of freeing....and a release from the depressive holes I find myself in sometimes.

Friends are good for shining light into dark holes. I'm thankful for the ones I have.

so, today was not a good day. Not at all. I didn't realize how much was inside of me.....I go thru periods of ignoring it......until I watched the "Hurt" video with Johnny Cash. I started crying. And crying. And I cried for a long time. And work was ok until the espresso and steaming machine stopped working. Yeah, a coffee shop without espresso and steamed drinks is not much of a coffee shop. It wasn't much fun. After work, I stayed and scrubbed one of the couches ("physical" emotional therapy), sat around and cried some more, and listened to Over the Rhine thinking, "Sing it, Karin." I don't know. It was just one of those days where I wish it was time for life to end. I just didn't want to be here.

But there are small things that keep me going. I came in to work today and Megan was working. It just helped to see her, give her a hug. I told her I was really glad she was there. And then later, a girl who comes in all the time to get drinks was about to leave and she looked at me and said "Kim, can I have a hug?" I of course was excited to do so, and when I came around the counter to hug her, I hugged her and said "is everything ok?" and she said "no" and just started crying. She went on to tell me some things that were going on in her life right now. And last night, a girl who comes in often asked us to pray for her. These are the small moments that I love about Kofenya.....when I see people that I only know thru the coffee shop opening up and experiencing love. I know the people who come into Kofenya feel it. There's something different there. And I'm so glad that despite where I'm at in my life, God still uses me somehow. Somehow, in all my crap and brokenness. Especially today of all days for my friend to come up and start crying.....it was just like "wow, God, I'm not the only one." And I felt I could relate to her. She was broken, too. And so willing to be vulnerable. So there was at least a moment in my day when things seemed to make sense and I felt I was in the right place.

I spent hours
Hours crying
Wondering
Dying

Torn and broken
Lost, unspoken
Alone. Alone.

I feel alone.

I love working with my roomie. :)




Book study was amazing again today. I'm going to have to take some time to blog some quotes from the book and what we have been talking about.

that's all for tonight I think. Narnia comes out Friday!!! :)

Friday, I was able to use my night off to take McKenzie to the zoo. If you have never been to the zoo for the lights, you need to go. Even though it was freezing, we still had an amazing time. There's nothing quite like walking around tons of Christmas lights with Christmas music playing, sipping hot chocolate and cappuchino with my favorite little 9-year-old. I would like to describe our form of transportation around the zoo as "frolicking." I think that probably sums it up best. And not only were the lights and atmosphere amazing, but the animal houses were open, so we got to see all kinds of cool animals. I think my favorite was the polar bear (which was actually outside, not inside), because he was literally swimming laps around the pool, one way he would be on his belly, and then when he turned around he would flip over and swim on his back. I'm serious.....he looked just like a human swimming laps or something, and he looked like he was having so much fun! Now I know why they called the early morning swim at 4-H camp in 4th grade "the polar bear swim." :)

Saturday's book study was great....really great. I hope to write more about that later.

And I had a lot more to write about, but now I'm getting tired, and I've forgotten all of it. *sigh*

So, I was pretty much asked if I was gay today. Welllllll, that's a new one!

And note to self: it's a bad idea to post deep personal information on the internet. Bad idea.

Quick story from the theater today, and why we need to consider men of all heights when installing urinals on the wall:

I am manning the concession, and a little boy walks past to go to the restroom. About a minute later, he comes back and stops in front of the concession. With his little boyish face and about 3-foot high body, he stands in front of me and says with his cute little voice:

"Ummm....you know, those things in the bathroom......that a man pees in......not the toilet but the other thing?"

"A urinal? The thing on the wall?" I say.

"Um, yeah. Well, I couldn't get my private up there to pee."

Well, thanks for letting me know! *laugh* I told him he could use the toilet and just put the seat up, but I guess that didn't sound like a good idea to him, so he just headed back into the theater.